I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
