Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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