worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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