I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
