I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
