Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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