that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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