I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
