you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
