Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth

(1-858): View more from California

Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?

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(563): View more from Iowa

I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"

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(860): View more from Connecticut

drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl

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(303): View more from Colorado

U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.

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(559): View more from California

No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.

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(510): View more from California

I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.

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(214): View more from Texas

come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals

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