Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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