margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
