I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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