A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
