Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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