he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Randomize
