I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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