When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
