Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
