Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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