I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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