Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I showed him my bush... on skype.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
