That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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