As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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