Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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