I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
