Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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