Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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