I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
