she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize