i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
