Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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