Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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