oh god the rape fog is back!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
