it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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