If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
