She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
