Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm at about main and main street
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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