Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
