Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
