Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
