he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
