it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Damn victory sex feels great
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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