I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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