whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
