Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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