We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
