I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
