Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
