Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize