I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
