I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
