that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
